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Do as I do, make money with conspiracy theories

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Each decade sees the emergence of a new conspiracy theory that stands out clearly from the others. The assassination of JFK, a trip to the moon, an alien invasion, September 11 or attacks, everything is a pretext to sow doubt among conspiracy fighters, who have been showing, for the past fifteen years, a certain pugnacity to try to convince the most “receptive1 that a secret society presides over humanity’s destiny…

So I thought to myself, why not me. Thus was born my vocation, I was finally going to be able to reveal the lies and Machiavellian plans warped by these secret societies that govern us. I have enough knowledge, even if it is limited, to set up my own conspiracy media and earn some advertising subsidies in the process to motivate my fight.
Thanks to the Internet, which is too perfect a vehicle not to get on board, I will be able to point the spotlight of truth on the darkness surrounding the most significant events of humanity on my own, with my imaginary journalist’s card, my social conscience and my whistleblowing intentions.

I was left with a lot of choices. The whole Internet is full of fallacious theories about the origin of the world, the aliens, the reptilians hiding among us, the first moon landing actually filmed in the studio, September 11 which is an Israeli-American plot or NASA which hides from us that the moon is a hologram. Because through “official” videos, sites and documents that have leaked, it is easy to create a formal conspiracy theory from scratch, supported by “scientific” evidence or explicit photos.

And of course, I was going to forge an implacable counter-power, free from the shackles of shareholders and investors, that nothing and no one could assimilate with a vulgar niche blog that would bring in a few thousand euros a month and whose influence I intend to extend thanks to all the media at my disposal…

My truth is elsewhere.

First I had to set up my blog, a site that would follow a very precise editorial line and focus on a theme without deviating too much from it, in order to avoid the conspiracy bucket that might invalidate all my assertions. I decide to dedicate myself to the mysteries of science, heralding all those who question the veracity of scientific studies, the most undeniable theories and the role of state agencies in charge of preventing us from disclosing their secret agenda.

A good and affordable way to host your content is to build a website from scratch from a blog platform like Blogger or Joomla. I opt for WordPress which is very simple to use and does not require any specific knowledge, even to host it on a server (a simple ftp client does the trick).

I choose a theme and I take care of the dressing. Whether you are a scientific or a political conspiracy, you do not dress your site in the same way. If my blog is about aliens, zone 51, state telepaths and NASA lying to us, I’m going to use a blindfold combining photos, identifiable signage and an anxiety-inducing quote. As my initial budget is about 0 €, I go to a site that offers royalty-free images, such as Pixabay, Toucharger or Wikipedia. I then compose my image using photo editing software (here are some of them).

the illuminati-scientific version

The alternative News version

There you go! There you go! The artisanal side is not embarrassing, it shows that I am not in the pay of the big corporations and that my desire for truth does not suffer from the oligarchic influence of the big banking groups, Georges Soros and the illuminatis.

As for the themes, I can apply a linear method that works for almost everything and allows me to prove the most improbable theories and will help to “reassure” the sceptics. If A is true and B is true, then B caused A.

Example: A child is born with asthma. He’s been vaccinated. It was the vaccine that caused asthma.

Or again: The drought is hitting the PACA region. Aircraft leave a trail of steam behind them. It is the shirts that cause the drought.

Or: The horizon is flat. The sea surface is flat. So the earth is flat.

As for logic or rational, it is not selling enough. So we might as well put these superfluous notions aside.

Explicit images

I have to feed this blog, continuously. However, I will not force the word processor too hard, but use the power of the image, which is much more powerful. If necessary, to support my comments, I could always pump an American conspiracy site or one of my congeners, the practice is common and tolerated… To do so, I must retrieve photos, videos and documents and rework them if necessary, while being careful not to go too far. The fake photos are impacting but quickly discredited.

Moreover, a simple search in Google Image allows you to verify the origin of a photo, it is better to favour authentic photos and illustrations of artists and work on the context to sow doubt. Occasionally, I could always use specific software to remove an annoying element discreetly from a photo.

I also do not hesitate to abuse the so-called arrow and circle method.

Hindenburg on fire

I take the original image

Hindenburg is a conspiracy

I stick a circle and one or more arrows

Hinderburg was an inside job

I’m adding a little more, but not too much.

Become the master of conspiracy video

Here I am with my blog, my articles and my beautiful photos that prove that aliens rule us and that gluten is a counterpoison to the adjuvants present in vaccines. But here it is, after my thirtieth article on chemtrails, I want to tackle some heavy stuff, just to leave my comfort zone (51). So I’m going to become… Terreplatiste! And to prove to everyone that the earth is flat and that NASA doesn’t care about space at all, but uses the pseudo “Night Watch” to keep people away from the big ice wall that prevents the sea from flowing off the earth’s plate, I need the power of the VIDEO.

You don’t have to stage yourself. A simple and inexpensive recipe for conspiracy video is a simple montage of still images to disturbing music. With a little experience, we can create more elaborate montages, by “borrowing” bits of documentaries and television programs, interspersed with human interventions: academics, investigators, researchers and experts of all kinds, who express themselves in documentaries and who can tell anything out of context. And if I need it, my cousin can record a voiceover to bring the solemn touch to the experience (he has a deep and calm voice).

I also don’t forget the subtitles, nor to enrich my productions with discreet special effects, serious transitions and some subliminal messages, it doesn’t eat bread, and it allows me to reach a wider audience.

For the demo video, I only used images and videos from the public domain, imported into Windows Movie Maker (free). The project is available for download here, I’m a sharer, I know….

News, more news!

To be effective, you have to be active, very active, even if it means writing everything and anything, on almost everything, on almost everything, always within the limits of your field of “competence”, drawing on all possible and imaginable sources and using catchy, even catchy titles that make little use of reality.

But how do you build a good source fund? When you feed a blog, it is important to follow the information and keep an eye on it. In my case, I will use social networks and subscribe to RSS feeds from the main “competing” sites. If these are missing, I can still use a service like Createfeed to create an RSS feed from certain pages and create a recipe on the IFTTT.com website (registration required) such as IF Feed Then Mail to receive updates directly in my mailbox.

IFTTT

IFTTT is an online service and also an application that allows you to create “recipes”, i.e. a condition followed by an action (If This Then That, if this then that), allowing you to automate certain tasks. For example, you can receive an email when an image becomes popular, or use remote home automation applications. The applications are many and varied, enough to satisfy you with one or more of them. On Android and iOs.

This puts you in the heart of the action and gives you a big edge over your competitors. For local conspiracy theories, such as attacks in Paris or Brussels (yes, decency is not the order of the day for conspiracies), it is enough to embroider around a photo or to cover recurring themes that still work ( Crisis Actors, Mossad, the CIA…) and to recall previous “investigations”.

Once written, don’t forget to use social networks to spread your articles, with why not an IFTTT recipe, and build a good base of followers by visiting the complosphere’s Facebook pages and Twitter accounts. Create several accounts, including sockpuppets, and manage them from a Tweetdeck interface.

Mobile plots

Unfortunately, I didn’t get a chance to go any further. Even though my blog is visited every day by hundreds of people, I can no longer generate any additional benefits. I tried the mobile application, but apart from pushing news, it doesn’t have much interest. I could also propose to charge for an application that calculates the curvature of the earth or compiles all the clues on this crazy theory (or to capitalize on the chemtrails, the base).

And then we would have to go to the United States, where some media only deal with conspiracy information, also called reinformation. And support Donald Trump, whose hair it seems would be an alien colony close to the kelp that would allow Bernie Sanders to mentally control him.

But the heart is not in it and I can see that most of my attempts at innovation are falling through. My family is starting to think I took a one-way ticket to Paranoville. That’s right, I start looking over my shoulder when I walk down the street. I feel watched.

My blog visits are declining, people are interested in other topics, sometimes they come to parasitize my Facebook page with insult messages.

So I put a Paypal donation button on my pages, to finance the search for the truth that justifies my existence. But generosity is not an option.

And the Global Empire ends up having the skin of my site, which ends up in the limbo of the Internet.

And so I return to anonymity, this pleasant cover that protects me from the wickedness of men.

But I’m planning to start a blog on homeopathy… Someday.

1 http://time.com/3997033/conspiracy-theories/

Also to be read:

The Conspiracy Watch blog

Hoaxbuster on the re-information sites

Spicee’s investigation into the spread of a plot (mounted from scratch) (paid video, but preview available).

The government page on the subject

And also

The very good Mental Hygiene video on misinformation with all our future friends:

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